Our sweet black lab was the perfect family dog until he bit two children within a 6-day period. We adopted Ryder when he was 1-year old from a foster home in southern Maine. We knew only that Ryder was a stray pup born in South Carolina and was transported to Maine, and then we found him on the internet and fell in love with his soulful brown eyes. Tim still talks about how quickly I decided this was our dog after only seeing three pictures of him. "Look at him," I said. "We need him."
Ryder met all the qualifications we wanted in a dog: a rescue pup who was smart and strong and loved to run. He cuddled with the kids on the floor. He stayed right by my side when I ran trails with him. He swam to the floating docks with the kids and climbed the ladder. He did silly things like take one piece of trash out of the kitchen garbage can and put it on the floor as a way to tell us that we had left him home alone too long. When he did something naughty, he put himself in time out. When he really had to pee, he tap danced a little with his front feet to let us know.
Ryder lived happily and loyally with our family for 4 years and we had no concerns about him whatsoever until he bit a child who lives across the street from us. She came into our garage to play with Reed, and Ryder lunged at her and bit her in the cheek. It was a total shock that this happened. The family was super kind and understanding about it all. Of course we cooperated and talked to animal control about the incident and agreed to keep him on a leash from now on.
This plot twist weighed heavily on all of us. I googled "Why dogs bite" and "aggressive dog behavior" and "if my dog bites once..." and read everything I could about why this may have happened and what to do to prevent it from ever happening again. Tim and I both knew this could not happen again.
Before that first bite, Ryder had enjoyed total freedom at our house and around our yard and the lake, and because we are outside all the time, he was too. With these new rules, his life and ours would change. We reigned him in and kept him mostly inside. I started walking him on a section of the rail road tracks where there are no houses, just trees.
6 days passed, and our friends came over for a Memorial Day Weekend barbecue. Everyone knew what happened and that we were going to be careful with Ryder around the kids. When they all arrived, I kept him on a leash and stayed right with him. He seemed happy but a little restless, especially when we didn't let him go outside with the kids. While I was cautious, I was convinced his bite was a one-time freak incident and that everything would be fine.
An hour into the party, when my friend's six-year old son walked into the living room, Ryder was lying on the floor. The little boy walked up to Ryder, leaned over him to pet him and Ryder lifted his head and bit him in the face. It was so quick, a snap, a bolt of lightening, and what resulted was a whole lot of chaos and screaming and running around for paper towels and bandaids, while I grabbed Ryder, put him on the leash, and ran outside with him, saying out loud: "Oh no. Oh no no no no." I knew what this meant, and Tim did too.
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| Mother's Day, 2 weeks before Ryder died. |
While our friends took off for the walk-in clinic (where four stitches closed the wound on our friend's sweet little forehead), we began the process of saying goodbye to our dog, and it all happened fast. Tim and I were completely in sync on this decision. We simply could not have a dog who bit kids, not when we have kids of our own and a house where kids are literally in and out all day. This was a liability we were not willing to live with, that nobody should live with.
Ryder sat next to us, oblivious, while we gathered the kids around our fire pit and cried. I could not bear to think that, because it was Sunday night of a holiday weekend, we needed to make a plan to have him put down but not actually do it until Tuesday. I couldn't bear to think of the next couple of days and what would be a prolonged and tortured goodbye.
On the advice of a friend, we called the emergency vet and told them our situation. They said we could bring him in right then. We spent about a half hour taking Ryder for his last walk down the tracks, helping the kids say goodbye, and all sobbing together. We drove to the vet, answered a lot of questions about who he bit and what the injuries were, lots of paperwork. All of the vets and techs confirmed with us that we were making the right decision. They could not have been more kind. We settled in to one of the rooms, and laid on the floor with our dog until he was gone. We whispered over and over and patted his velvet ears: "You are such a good boy. You are such a good boy. You are such a good boy."
I truly don't believe that Ryder ever meant to hurt anyone, but something had changed in him. Was he in pain? Was he sick? Did something traumatic happened to our dog before we got him that affected his brain somehow? We just don't know and we never will.
The aftershocks of that Sunday night rippled through our house for the next several days and weeks. We mourned and cried and felt sick over what happened and that our otherwise awesome dog caused other families such a traumatic experience. I saw what it looked like to have Skyler's heart break in two. I answered Reed's hundreds of questions about dog heaven and what it was actually like to put a dog to sleep. We all found ourselves reaching for him and swearing we could hear his collar jingle. Four months later, every one of us still expects to hear him running to greet us when we walk in the door.
If you are reading this and thinking that you are so glad that your dog is good with kids and is not a bite risk, we felt the exact same way. We would've said the exact same thing. And the reason I wanted to tell our story is to remind everyone that you never really know. Dogs are animals and unfortunately that means they are not entirely logical or predictable. Neither of the kids who Ryder bit did anything wrong. The bites were completely unprovoked and undeserved. And yet still, everyone can stand to be reminded to be cautious around dogs. I have talked to my kids again about the proper way to approach a dog, even ones they know. Don't assume anything. Always ask the owner before petting. Give lots of space.
Both of the kids who were bit have healed nicely (though both have small scars) and their families could not have been more kind to us. In that regard, we are lucky it wasn't worse or that we didn't end up in court. Dog bites, accident reports, rabies labs, and liability are not the words we think of when we decide to bring a pet into our lives. When we talk about what a big responsibility it is to have a dog, we think about feeding him and walking him and keeping up with vet visits. We might think about the risks of opening up our hearts to the vulnerability of loving another thing so much. But we probably don't think about how we are also responsible for all the other people our dog comes into contact with. Take it from us; you shouldn't take that responsibility lightly. And thank God our friends forgave us.
I miss so many things, walking and running with Ryder. I miss how he slid his head in between me and Tim when we hugged. I miss saying "Hello boys!" when Ryder and Tim came into the house together. But more than anything, I miss believing that nothing like this could happen as long as you love a dog the way we loved this one.
